How to Forgive Yourself (Even When It Feels Impossible)
Forgiveness can feel like a tricky business. You are constantly told by society that you should be forgiving – no matter how badly someone wronged you. Sometimes it feels like you’re being told that you’re the bad guy for not forgiving someone. I do believe as a spiritual guide, that forgiveness is a powerful tool for healing, however, it should only be used when you’re truly interested in doing so. There’s no point in sharing empty words. More often than not, the only person that you should be forgiving is yourself and in this article, I want to share more about this process.
What Is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness is the act of choosing to let go. When it comes to forgiving others, this looks like, “I forgive you so let’s move on.” You are intentionally deciding to look forward to a better future and the decision to have and be better. Something I want to distinguish here is that forgiveness is not excusing the past that might have influenced the current circumstances (ex. had a rough childhood). In actuality, it is only accepting the explanation (ex. acknowledging that one’s rough childhood created this habit in the present moment but not letting it excuse their actions.) Forgiveness is truly an act of love and understanding.
What It Means To Forgive Yourself
Forgiving yourself is on the same grounds as forgiving another because you are making peace with the past so that you can move forward. What is critical here is that you are not holding it over your head. When you make mistakes, you have a tendency to mull over them. Constantly referring back to it as some sort of proof that you must be rotten in some way. But you are not meant to hold It over your head. Forgiveness asks us to break free of that limiting thinking so that you can do better.
An example: let’s say that you cheated on your ex-partner. You could mull over this and shame yourself over this choice. Or you can choose to acknowledge that you made a mistake and commit to doing better in the future. You can always choose to change your path.
A lack of forgiveness towards oneself usually indicates that there is an emotional wound of shame. An emotional wound is a soul wound that traps you in the vibration of a specific emotion. I have an entire article about this specific emotional wound, check it out here.
How To Forgive
There are a few ways that you can practice self-forgiveness. These are my suggestions as a spiritual guide so feel free to take what resonates and leave the rest behind.
Inner child work
I am a firm believer that a lot of what makes you the person that you are today is your childhood. For this reason, I recommend doing inner child work to dive deep into the root cause of your lack of forgiveness. Was there a message ingrained in you that caused you to continually blame yourself? What mistake deeply impacted you? A few ways to practice inner child work are to use journal prompts like listed above, meditate, or practice energy healing.
I offer support for inner child healing; book a card reading with me to understand in-depth your healing work.
Embrace That You Are Human Who Makes Mistakes
A key part of forgiveness work is to embrace the fact that you are human. Although you are deeply connected to the divine you are not completely energy. You are meant to be part human, to experience life, and to, as a result, make mistakes. When you realize that this is an expectation of you, you can break free of the cycle of shame and transform it into positive thinking, which brings me to my next point.
Turn It Into a Learning Opportunity: How Can You Do Better Next Time?
When you embrace that you’ll make mistakes, you can then turn your experiences into learning opportunities. Ask yourself: how can I do better next time? Would you change your reaction, your words, your actions? Think about it. When you dive deep into this work you can authentically forgive yourself for mistakes because you have made a course of action and are ready to get started. You are choosing to be different and that is extremely powerful!
You are extremely deserving of forgiveness. Yet you are usually the last person to forgive yourself. You have the power to break free of shame, guilt, and limiting belief systems. Know that this journey will not happen overnight. You will have to reaffirm that you forgive yourself over and over until you finally get the message. But it is always worth it.
If you are looking for a guide to help you during this journey, I am here to help. The best place to get started is by downloading my free guide called “the 5 Stages of Unlocking Your Higher Purpose.” This no-commitment guide will give you a rundown of what a spiritual awakening looks like and give you actionable advice for your next step. Download here now.